The holiday season is a time of sensory delight: festive lights, family gatherings, and the cozy scent of pine and spices. It has also come to be known as the “giving season,” driving a welcome surge in charity and volunteerism. Yet, this period has become increasingly dominated by commercialism. Following a day of gratitude (Thanksgiving), we plunge into the frantic consumerism of Black Friday and Cyber Monday. Then the sudden pivot to charity on Giving Tuesday creates a sur

We are living in uncertain times. But if there is one thing we can be certain of, it is the transformative power of the arts. This year, we have seen unprecedented cuts to essential life-saving services provided by non-profit organizations. When funding is cut, attention rightly turns to necessities like food and shelter, and inevitably, the arts are affected, often the first activity to be stripped from the budget. I run an arts non-profit, and we are already seeing a decrea

A Case for Radical Self Care In Part I, I wrote about forgiveness, love, and compassion as acts of resistance. In this section, I would like to share an important method for surviving hardships, one that we far too often take for granted or neglect: Self Care. As 2020 tried to beat me down, I decided to embark on a journey of what I’ve termed radical self care. In order to reclaim my sense of inner well being, I had to turn inward and find my light, strength, and courage. I r

Recently, while participating in cleaning up a local park, I felt a sense of longing for my children. From as early as I can remember, I would take them with me on every service opportunity I participated in. With both of them now older and often away from home, I miss having them along. That longing was amplified when I saw a adults out serving with their children. I hope that more people would encourage young people to volunteer, not just to accumulate community service hou

In the process of raising my children, I am constantly being confronted with rather strong emotions. My family is made up of passionate, emotional, sensitive, strong-willed, and impulsive people (myself included). As you can imagine, emotions can run high, and what may seem like small problems or encounters can quickly escalate into full blown meltdowns. While I was growing up, I learned that it was okay to express the pleasant emotions, but no one needed to know about the

Mom, her daughters and grandchild The day is December 31, 2006. It is a warm summer morning in Nigeria. I wake up to my mother’s excitement about the New Year’s Eve party and fireworks that we are going to attend that evening. She tells me she has dropped off the van at the mechanic's to get brand new tires put on to make sure the car is in top shape for the journey. “You know how the roads are," she says. Around noon, we board the minivan; my husband, children, and a young

I’d like to begin this post with a couple of questions. Take a moment to ponder the following questions and take stock of your answers and attitudes towards children. When you think of children, what thoughts immediately come to mind? What are or were some of your assumptions about children before you had your own? Do you attribute intent to a child’s behavior? What are your beliefs about the nature of a child or a teenager? Too often, adults associate negative traits to chi

I often wonder what the future holds in store for the two precious beings whom I have been blessed to accompany on their journey. When my children were little, one of the best pieces of advice I received from another mother after one of my child’s tirades was, “Ridvan, you are not raising a two year old; you are raising a human being.” That statement and the following quote have stayed with me and guided my parenting approach. “Children are the most precious treasure a commu

When my firstborn was a few years old, one afternoon I walked into my bedroom shortly after I had just cleaned it to find him in the process of tearing it down. My initial impulse was to react and solve the problem, probably by stopping him, or maybe even making him pay for this mishap and disrespect, because we are told that as parents we have to immediately correct our children’s “ills,” lest they become horrible human beings. However, something compelled me to ask him what